An Apology

A thousand apologies to you, I owe

who’s heart I broke and broke and broke!

All I meant to say was- Sorry,

but I gave explanations when we last spoke.

I still hear your voice in my head

when I think of what you might say.

You have always been my guiding star,

quite like Eklavya and his Dronacharya.

I know how deeply I’ve hurt you

and let you down…

That I have caused you pain,

is my grief, profound.

Please, please won’t you forgive me.

I’m so sorry, your pain is mine to bear.

I’ve been so consumed with guilt,

I cannot think of you without sadness and tears.

If only I could go back in time

and make all the wrongs, right.

My heart, that is burdened so

would feel somewhat light.

I must be the only person in the world

who doesn’t know how to apologise,

but I will try and try again

I’m not giving up, question does not arise.

Give me a chance to make amends,

this is my one and only plea.

Losing you has been the most difficult to bear,

do you think you could ever forgive me?

I know I have to work hard to earn your trust,

what we had was so divine.

I could never, never let you go,

with all my love and gratitude for your time.

Yamini

Snowfall

Puffs of clouds come snowing down,

it weaves a blanket so cold…

It sends a ripple of excitement,

this is a sight to behold!

Time freezes over, I stand mesmerised,

enraptured by its beauty…

Don’t call me inside to do my chores,

I’m on a break, I’m off-duty!

I’ve been magically trapped

in my grandma’s snow globe…

but I’m thoroughly enjoying this,

I’m no chiono-phobe!

I catch some on the palm of my hand,

so light to touch, like cotton candy…

I think to myself, it’s about time

I poured me some of that golden brandy.

O’ what fun it is, to walk

on a carpet of pristine white snow.

I just can’t resist making a few balls,

watching them hit as I throw.

I’m slowly freezing all over,

but there’s a warm glow inside.

I’ve had my fill but I’m greedy for more,

I can’t let this feeling slide.

The brain takes over,

‘I’ve had my fun in the snow’.

But the heart protests,

‘Stay a bit longer, don’t go.’

Covid Be Done Now

I've shopped and stocked

I’ve done all the cooking I longed.

I’ve binged-watched

I’ve even spring-cleaned!

I’ve taken long naps and rested so much

I’ve lost count of my days...

I’m so sick of being at home- aah

I miss the interaction, eeh!

I’ve tended my garden

I’ve planted all the bulbs;

This is my Eden

But not going out sucks!

I’ve wasted my passes and my classes

I’ve even cut my own hair!

A wave of inertia possesses me

I want to do something but I don’t care.

Hubby’s locked himself up in the guest room

And I don’t even have a snuggle bear.

I’ve downloaded the new app- zoom

Now that’s the only space we share.

Covid be done now

You’ve done enough ruin!

You’ve made countries bow;

and I’ve even written this fuck’n poem.

R.I.P.

31/03/2020

A thousand frogs!

A thousand frogs must I kiss
to find my gorgeous prince...
or must I await my sweetheart
to awaken me with a lingering kiss?

Should I let my hair down
and let him climb into my heart...
O' must I be trapped in this beastly life
and await the coming of my true love?

Love, love and more love...
will there be anything more that I'll ever need?
A thousand frogs must I kiss
to find my charming prince?

18/11/14

कुछ सवाल

कुछ सवालों के जवाब, सवाल ही क्यूँ होते हैं

उन सवालों के जवाब खोजने होते हैं ...

भूलना है आसान, लेकिन ये हैरान हमेशा करते हैं |

The Night

The night, she languors gloriously
her veil has hid the light.
She is made of dreams
and stardust, this sparkly sprite!

Her eyes, myriad pools aglow
they hypnotize and delight.
From her lips, the nectar flows
the elixir of life excite.

She hums her enchanting spell
one cannot escape without a fight.
The mighty Hercules, Orion, the Great Bear...
guard her fortress tight.

In her cloak, she beckons them
the tired souls, the trite.
She nurses them in her arms
and makes them feel alright.

Her bosom heaves in mild waves
her tresses entangle quite.
The calm, it settles upon her children
- ever so slight.

In her womb, the dreams are born
ready to take flight.
They dance upon the eyelids
some placid, some give a fright!

An angel, a nurturer, a lover
a seductress, a cunt, I cite.
O' she's all that and more...
it depends, how you view her tonight.

06/11/14

The Awakening

Awash in your glory, 

I lie naked and bare. 

Your gentle caress, 

of that I'm aware.

Love makes me want to

peel off my layers.

Tell me, when you see me,

do I give you a scare?

30/08/14

Meet me at Dawn

It's been a long, cold, lonely night
I've been lost in the shadows of the past
I fell into abyss, 

of these dark-dark thoughts

The guiding stars were there all along
I had shut my eyes so tight, I had!
I'd missed to see them, 

blind as I was...

You've been searching for me in the day
as I've been looking for you in the night
will our paths ever cross, 

will we ever unite?

These hearts, they cannot connect
we've got to meet at a point, 

but don't you cross over,
be lost in these forests of the night.

Meet me there, 

my lost-lost love!
at the end of the night,
at the beginning of light...

Wait for me there, my sweet
at the brink of time, 

where the shadows cross over to the light.

Meet me at Dawn.

Yamini Chandra

Stars in her eyes

She glides across the dark blue skies

with stars in her eyes

...waiting, hesitant, expecting 

their paths to collide

...that sweet serendipity

when they burst into flames

and knock off their shells

...the impenetrable walls that they've built 

and guarded over the years.

17/01/2014

खामोशी

नहीं यहाँ कोई आहट
ना किसी के होने का एहसास ;
ख़यालों का ये शोर है ...
इनही से है गुफ्तगूं ,
इनही से दिल मिलनसार है ।
कभी सोचती हूँ मान ही लूं
कि येही मेरे हमराज़ हैं ,
फिर सोचती हूँ
कि ये भी क्या बात है ।

10/08/2013

About this lad...

I must tell you about this lad
He came from a far-away land...
Not in an armour, shining and bright
Nor on a horse, glistening white.
He did not sweep me off my feet
Or tell endless tales of his glorious feats.
He did not even try to charm and delight
He just kept the conversation light.
And when we parted on a merry note
He handed me a glass rose.

We typed more than we talked
Texted and texted whole night long...
For in the rush of the day
We were busy, happy and gay.
Present elsewhere, but always in thought
Each, the other's company, sought.
And though in distance, we were far apart
They were his words, that touched my heart.
He has travelled far and wide
And yet, in his roots, he seeks a bride.

Each so different from the other
Must've been intriguing, rather.
His voice- tender, behold!
Comes straight from his heart- pure gold.
Never the one to say- 'No'
I think he's a good sport!
His adventures, I find exciting
Bungee jumping, biking and hiking...
I'm a dreamer and he's a doer
In him, I may have found a partner...

ये अल्फाज़

जो अल्फाज़ समेटे रखे थे महफूज़ 

वो छल से, गिर गए हैं आज |

ये न उभरते तो कुछ नया नहीं था 

जो निकल पड़े हैं, अब कुछ वही नहीं रहा |

मुझे हो न हो, है इनहें पहचान 

ढूंड लिया है इनहोंने एक नया मकान |

और इस दिल के खाली कमरे में 

छोड़ चले ये सैकड़ों अरमान |

01/09/12

सोयी पड़ी थी देर तक

 सोयी पड़ी थी देर तक 

अब जाग के आगे बढ़ना है 

मस्त सपनों में खोयी रही 

अब हकीकत में उतरना है 

ऊँचाइयों को छूना है 

इन पर्वतों के पार जाना है 

इतिहास के पननों पर

अपना भी नाम कमाना है 

सोयी पड़ी थी देर तक

अब जाग के आगे बढ़ना है 

इन पर्वतों के पार 

उन हसीन वादियों में उतरना है 

जाना है बहुत दूर 

ये रास्ता नहीं आसान 

निडर, एक के आगे एक 

अब कदम मुझे बढ़ना है 

उन हसीन वादियों में उतरना है 

इन पर्वतों के पार जाना है

इतिहास के पननों पर

अपना भी नाम कमाना है 

26/08/2012

ये ख्वाब

गुम हो चुकी हूँ जो 

कि ख्वाब में पड़ी हूँ मैं

मुझे इस नींद से ना जगाओ 

कि अब संभलना मुश्किल है |

ये गहरी है तनहाई

इसका एक ही हमसफ़र है 

ये ख्वाब मुझ से हैं 

या मैं इन ख्वाबों से हूँ |

जाओ भी, ना सताओ 

बेरहमी से मुझे ना जगाओ 

इन ख्वाबों पे रौशनी डालो ना 

ये जलते चिराग बुझने लगें |

मुझे यूँ ही खो जाने दो 

इस आग में जल जाने दो 

कि इनका वजूद मुझसे है 

या मेरा वजूद इन से | 

26/08/2012

आज क्या नई बात है

(Aaj Kya Nayi Baat Hai - audio link)

आज क्या नई बात है 

ये मौसम की पहली अंगराई तो नहीं, 

ना तरसते होटों की पहली बार प्यास बुझी 

आज पहली बार तो नहीं |

छम से तो नहीं आई यें

धम से अरमानो की बाड़ ले आई हैं |

शर्म से, ना इतराई, ना डगमगाई हैं ये 

बेखौफ, बेपरवाह, खुल के नाची हैं |

आज क्या नई बात है,

आज पहली बार तो नहीं |

मेरे दिल पे दस्तक देतीं

शोर मचातीं, कुछ कहती हैं ये बूंदें, 

सोये कुछ ख्वाबों को चुटकी काटती हैं 

दबी-दबी ख्वाहिशों को ठठोल के जगाती हैं |

नए सपने, नई चाहतें बोती हैं

मेरे होने का यकीन दिलाती हैं ये बूंदें |

उल्लास, उमंग, उम्मीद से भरी,

मुझमें ये बिजली सी दौडी हैं |

आज यही नई बात है, 

पर पहली बार तो नहीं |

25/08/2012

Funny Bunny

There was once born a baby bunny
to a distinguished lady mummy.
All of bunny-friends came with money
to shower blessings on sweet sonny.

"Look, what long ears it has."
crowed the rooster, "Fit for my morning jazz!"
"Look at those whiskers and his nose."
admired the pig, "It's pink like me, just like rose."

"Ooh! What gems, those ruby eyes!"
Tweeted the birds from the skies.
"What white fur,"
hissed the snake, with a slur.

"But he's soo rooted!"
The wise owl hooted.
It seemed the world stopped moving,
the crowd started disapproving.

"Your sonny's got no bounce!"
Giggled the gaggle with a pounce.
The new mommy encouraged and cheered her sonny,
but all it did was blink like a dummy.

"Isn't it funny," someone said, "this bunny!"
From then on they called him Funny Bunny.
He looked at the big world pass by,
what else could he do but cry?

Funny Bunny could not hop,
that was the sorrow of his pop.
"Take him to the wizard,"
suggested the big black lizard.

But all the voodoo and charms
did the boy more harm.
For he became more grounded
and fair-square rounded!

Mom and pop did lament,
poured over their hearts, cement.
The boy grew up thus
like a rock on the earth, bulbous.

No words of wisdom, no advice
no friends, relatives or otherwise...
dejected and ridiculed,
he felt like the tiniest molecule.

Then one day a grasshopper came,
the highest sprint-hopping dame.
Funny Bunny could not believe his eyes
when he saw her touch the skies.

Wonder-struck and amazed he was,
to see her hop without a pause.
She sensed that she was being watched
and seeing the admiration felt quite touched.

She said, hopping on his nose bare,
"Tell me love, why do you stare?"
Funny Bunny turned beetroot-red
and nervously, shook his head.

Then he told her his story,
the life he's led, so sorry.
She felt that she must help him,
to get him all jumpin'.

So next day she came with the frog
and showed him the hopping styles in vogue.
Funny Bunny tried with all his might,
but in his heart, he was full of fright.

They tugged and pushed him to rectify the fault
and even put him on a catapult.
But poor Funny Bunny could not come through
and each time his fear grew.

Tired and bewitched, on the ground they dropped,
all their hopes and plans had flopped.
They agreed that they jumped from their heart
and realised the problem with a start!

"Sometimes all you need is faith,
a dream to dream and a bit of fate.
So hop Sunny Bunny, from your heart
and let your life jump-start."

Funny Bunny stood inspired,
hope melting down his ire.
Dullness gone, he was on fire,
it was as if his feet were on spire.

Thrilled by his hop, he was happy and gay,
the animals watched in disbelief, what could they say?
Funny Bunny hopped and hopped,
he was jumping, as they had hoped.

That's how it all worked out honey,
Funny Bunny was now Sunny Bunny.
Everybody cheered and thanked the friends,
this is how the story ends.

17/02/2011
Dedicated to my little brother, Eshan. 

On a lonesome Tuesday night

It’s quarter past twelve on a Tuesday night

And I’m sitting up on my bed

Feeling there’s something not quite right

About my life and what lies ahead…

I’ve spoken to mamma and bhai

And somebody who’s awakening feelings anew

I’m dreaming of ‘him and I’

But what he wants- if only I knew!

He’s gentle, he’s fierce, he is exceptionally bright

Sometime he gives me a great big fright!

He’s a child, he’s a wise man

He’s a magician, I’m under his spell…

He’s careful, he’s caring, he’s thoughtful and thought provoking!

He’s full of qualities that I dig, he self-contradicts!

He’s witty, he’s charming, his cute smile brightens up my life!

And I look up to him, my big fat Mr. Big!

He’s got a willful eye on you

So don’t cross over that fence…

He’s the king of the jungle,

Truly majestic in every sense!

His heart needs mending

And he’ll take his time to heal…

Will have to break free of his past so offending

And begin afresh- I feel…

The man is right

And I wish the timing was too

For he still needs preparation

And a bit of optimism thrown in too!

O’ I long for a warm hug

And a tender kiss…

Bitten by the love-bug

…if only I get this!

Life seems too lonely

As I lay alone in my quilt

It seems oh! so phony

The walls around my heart that I’ve built!

I want to lay down my guards

To just let it go

The dam is threatening to burst now

Mind and heart are turning into foe!

I’m perplexed and bemused

And thrilled and how!

And to him, my heart, I refused

Wondering, what now?!

O’ am I to be swept by this emotion

Up on the tidal wave…

Or feel afraid of all the commotion

To buckle, right back into my cave?!

02/12/2008

For another crush. 

My friend forever

Dear friend

Hand-in-hand,

Through bibs and cribs.

We've always been together,

Through thick and thin.

Through coffee and confessions

And scheming our sins too…

Laughing like crazy

Or having fun with you…

Through feasts and feats

And get well soon's,

We've always been there for each other

Me and you!

Long drives and TV fights

Sharing dreams and giving surprises

Sneeking into discs,

Sipping our first vodka.

Reading naughty magazines

And planning our next adventure…

We always were, will forever be

Perfect partners in crime.

Happy Friendship Day

My friend forever!

2008
On Friendship Day.

Friends or lovers

‘Darling’, ‘dear friend’ or just ‘hey’…

How do I address you- say!

Colleague, friend, lover or fusion…

What are you, am trapped in confusion!

You tell me you miss me, I can hardly see why…

I come near, but you dismiss me or walk on by!

I think, perhaps we’ll steal a moment…

Catch up, and say words of endearment!

Slip together into the canteen…

Take a coffee break, minutes: fifteen!

Then I see you slip away…

Another day passes by- Yeh! Hurray?!

No times ‘together’, no fun ‘n games…

And then you talk of other dames?!

I pour my heart out to you…

Write to you, give you an overview!

I find different ways ‘n new words…

To tell you that I love you hoards!!

I wait desperately for your reply…

Some time and devotion you might apply…

But you talk to me in monosyllables…

‘Main aisa hi hun’, ‘missing yaar’!!

It makes me so mad ‘n disappointed…

That in you, my heart, I appointed!!

I need you to give me reasons- ‘why’…

Tell me your love is vast like the sky!!

I want my answers, and I want ‘em now…

So I came up with this poem, somehow!

I need you to tick or underline…

Whatever hits the beeline!

Are you happy, are you glad…

Are people calling you a bit mad?!

Do I linger in your memory…

Like a beautiful song, O’deary?

Do your cheeks become pink…

Of me, each time you think?!

Am I your sole concern these days…

When I talk of others, does it make you ‘J’?!

All that I express to you, do you feel the same…

Or what’s in your heart, is just inane?!

Tell me my charming knight…

Am I your last thought at night?!

Am I your treat for the day…

Am I your hope, a new ray?!

O’ come on now, tell me your dreams…

Fill for me, some of those reams!!

Tell me what’s there in your heart…

Draw me a picture, or plain flowchart!!

Are we just friends or lovers?!

Tell me what’s beneath those iron covers!!

Tell me something, do be true…

Is this a beginning, or are we through?!

02/06/2006

For a crush.

हमें शर्म बहुत आती है |

जब सामने वो आजाते हैं
हमारी साँस रुक जाती है |
उनकी एक निगाह हमपे पड़ती है
और हमारी आँखें झुक  जाती हैं |
कुछ दिल की बात कहना चाहते हैं
पर हमारी आवाज़ गुम हो जाती है |
वो कहते हैं हमसे कुछ बात
हमारी तो धड़कन  ही थम  जाती है |
उनको ना देखें तो हम बेचैन हैं
हमारी तबियत बिगड़ जाती है |
दिल का ऐसा हाल है
पर हमें शर्म बहुत आती है |
वो सुचते हैं हम मगरूर हैं
सच्छी में, हमें शर्म बहुत आती है |